NEW MOON is shirtless and slow, but pretty
Jeffrey Van Camp
Score: 
I've never seen so many shirtless teenagers and vacant stares in my life. There is such a thing as a "chick flick" and then there's New Moon, the actual movie equivalent of a Harlequin novel, sadly without the Fabio-adorned cover or sex. It's a marked improvement from its predecessor, Twilight, but only if you can get over the high-flown acting and slow pace. Judging from the reactions of the high-school girls packed into Celebration! Cinema here in Lansing, MI (my town), genetically-troubled half-naked teenage boys running around in the rain more than compensate for a bit of lingering.
This must be what watching The Beatles was like for girls of the 60s. The band sounded amazing, but you probably couldn't hear a note if you saw them live. Seeing New Moon at midnight was like watching a movie with a laugh/scream track. The theater was clogged with hundreds of blossoming female fans who laughed, oohed, and awed at everything. After a few minutes, I had more fun going with the flow than anything else. Would I have liked it if I saw it alone? I have no idea, though I did, regrettably, think Club Dread was hilarious when I saw it with a bombastic college crowd some years ago--not so much when I saw it in a less social situation. Laughter is contagious.